Make Her Come
Let’s be frank: men can climax easily – mostly every time they have sex or masturbate (unless there is an underlying issue). A male’s orgasm is after all, vital to the continuation of the human species, so it makes sense that emotionally and physically, they are geared towards guaranteed orgasms. For women, it’s different.
We get contacted almost every day by men who don’t know how to make their significant other reach orgasm. It’s because the female orgasm is a more complex beast: each woman needs unique stimulation, a combination of different stimulations and (again, generally speaking), the correct mental and emotional state of mind. Shew.
A Planned Parenthood study says that 1 in 3 women have trouble reaching orgasm during sex. It’s not unusual, therefore, for women to struggle.
However, that doesn’t mean there aren’t steps you can take to increase your partner’s frequency of orgasms. Here are a few tips we think may help.
Turn Her On
Most women need to be in the mood for sex. The brain is the biggest sexual organ, and for women, feeling sexy and in a sexual space is vital to achieving climax.
So how do you get her there? Foreplay, teasing, and touching. Talk to her about what you want to do to her. Kiss her on her neck, behind her ears and slide her finger in your mouth. Spend time (lots of time!) licking her lips and stroking her inner thighs.
Build up the anticipation and desire and you’ve won half the battle.
Your lady will naturally self-lubricate, but the feeling of wetness that lube provides will instantly up the ante. Lubricant will excite her more and up her sensitivity – all the ingredients needed for climaxing. We love Pjur Woman (preservative and perfume free), Pjur Bodyglide lubricant and Pjur Aqua (water-based, so non-sticky).
The majority of women don’t climax from intercourse alone. Your partner’s clit is, therefore, hugely important to her satisfaction. However, with 8000 nerve endings, this love button can become too sensitive very quickly.
So don’t be overly enthusiastic in your attentions to this area. Start off slow and light and constantly ask your partner to tell you what she wants. Many women are too shy to verbalise this, so make her feel comfortable and ask her questions. “Do you like this?” “Would you like it harder or faster?” “How about this position?” “Do you prefer this… or this?”
Very soon, you will be touching her in the way she likes.
Ask Her To Take Over
Although many women may feel too shy to do this, watching her masturbate can give you invaluable information about how she likes to be touched. Try lying next to her to start off with, and guide her hand to her clit. Keep your hand cupping hers as she rubs herself. Whisper in her ear that you love knowing she’s pleasuring herself. Ask her very nicely if you can get a closer look. Re-affirm that you are loving the show. Tell her how sexy you find it.
Try Out Your Tongue
Oral sex is a wonderful way to get your lady writhing with pleasure – according to sexologists at the Masters & Johnson Institute, oral sex is the most reliable route to orgasm for 80% of women.
Again take it slowly and gently, and build up pressure and movement according to her instructions. Insert your finger and massage her G-Spot (about 5 – 8 cm inside her vagina) with a come hither motion. Breathe on her. Tell her that you want to know what she likes.
Lou Paget suggests:
With one hand, pull up her clitoral hood. Then lick from side to side across its base, just above her clitoris. Place one finger of the other hand on her perineum (the area directly below the opening of her vagina). When you can feel her pre-orgasmic contractions, you’ll know you’re in the right place.
Keep Up The Technique
If there is one way to distract your lady, or lose her build-up, it’s to change positions or techniques too frequently. If you find something she likes, keep going until she climaxes. Try out something new for the next orgasm attempt.
Try Out Toys
Vibrators are almost a guaranteed orgasm, and we suggest using these to make sure she is satisfied. She can hold it against herself while you’re inside her, or you can lie next to her, and hold it on her while you kiss her deeply. These are our top choices:
Womanizer2Go: petite, yet powerful (this pocket rocket has 6 intensity modes), this gadget will almost guarantee an orgasm. Use this on your lady, or get her to use it on herself, while you watch (and play with yourself).
Mini-vibrators: Discreet, small and playful (therefore non-threatening), this toy will vibrate on her sweet spot and send her into orgasm ecstasy!
Lubes and lotions: In seconds, a lubricant can make her more erotically sensitive, which can only help to make her climax. Wetter really is better.
The main thing to remember is time and generosity. Make the next 10 love-making sessions about her. Focus on making her climax and it is likely that she will. Once she has come, it’s your turn to receive pleasure – and she is more likely to want to share the joy if you have lavished attention on her.